Starting Somewhere...

Hello!


If you're finding this post it means you likely found me on instagram. Welcome to this other space of mine. It is a baby still, and having trouble figuring out this big interweb world. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure yet what this space is going to end up being. Perhaps just a journal of sorts of our homeschool journey - as I figure it out. Maybe on those days that are going really, really well, I'll have insight to share here with those of you who are not as far along in the trip...but for now I don't envision that happening. What I do envision is me being real. Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart and quite honestly, more days than not I am pretty faint of heart. Those moments are the days where I find the most grace from my kids, the most fire in my belly to do it better tomorrow, and the joy that comes from knowing that my kids still see me as wonder woman in their world.

I'm Cassandra, my friends call me Cassie, married to my childhood sweetheart Nathan. We have 5 beautiful and awesome kiddos - four boys and a girl age10 down to 21 months. Did I picture myself with five kids? Only in my wildest dreams! The days are chaotic and full and most nights I collapse in bed exhausted only to be awoken the next morning  by one of those beautiful children of mine far too early and far from rested.

We began our homeschool journey in the preschool years with my oldest two - back when everything was rosy and easy and just so fun. Quite honestly, if homeschooling could be preschool 100% of the time I would be a rockstar at it. Give me all the finger paints, ABC's art, sweet unit studies about apples and bees and field trips to farms, the library and the zoo....I'm in heaven! "Real" school coincided with the toddlerhood of my 3rd child and a crazy season of postpartum depression after a miscarriage. Let's just say we barely scraped by that year. The following 3 years have included, in September (the start of our school year), a new baby, a huge move, and then another new baby. We like big life transitions to kick off our school year apparently. It has been an incredibly bumpy ride. Now three quarters of the way through our first somewhat successful year of homeschooling (based on what exactly I still haven't figured out), we are dealing with the biggest worldwide pandemic in a century and everything, including the homeschooler's home away from home, the library, is shut down. Somehow each year I find that my kids have actually learned quite a bit despite our rough go at it, and even now in the midst of these crazy times we are in I am seeing them learn in new ways I hadn't even thought of. Still, if I am being honest, most days I feel like I have not given them all I wanted to give them.

The reality is, the last 4 years of our homeschool journey have been far from what I thought they would be. I had visions of story time mornings with my boys snuggled at my feet listening to me read classic tales and learning songs, and chanting history lessons and actually remembering Latin. Instead, it has been an endless season of character formation (ie. speaking kind words, sharing what we have, serving one another), math and reading lessons where we find the time for them (between feedings, diapers, stomach flu and holidays) and not nearly as many sweet and calm sessions as I'd hoped. Maybe you've been there too?

I wish I could say that my husband and I have been on the same page about rolling with the punches the last few years but that has not always been the case. We have had our fair share of "Are they even learning?", "How does folding laundry count as school?", "Let me tell you all they learned building with legos all day!" and "Sick babies. I have sick babies." conversations. That alone would make some families throw in the towel. Much of it has felt lonely and hard to navigate since it has often seemed we are coming from completely different ends of the spectrum in our approach to what homeschooling should look like (and I'm sure I'll share more on that side of the journey in future posts). Still, ultimately, what we can agree on is our desire to have our children schooled at home for the time being and so we plod on.

I share these things for a couple of reasons. First, I want you to see that I don't have this thing figured out. Each kid is different, each parent/child relationship is different and each parent-teacher/child-student relationship is different. One homeschooling family is different from any other homeschooling family. While I don't have it all ironed out - I know there are things that have helped me along the way and if my sharing them here offers help or hope to someone else it makes it even more worth the bumpiness of my part through it. Second, the homeschooling life is a strange dance merging beauty and function, rigorous work and leisurely learning all while revolving around the ever evolving needs of family life. I hope by sharing snapshots of what that dance looks like for us you may find encouragement for the dance your family is doing.